desperate

i was called again after the firehouse ran out of water and the fellas were left to wring their acid guts for the beer they wasted on commradery and pleasure, when they got to me i was totally delusional, eating canned sardines and weeping into my own miserable ejaculate stains, while you slept so harmoniously, you feverish nude, with dreams of gardens and opium and garbage bag winters taking walks along the road and ridding the world of the trash it had created, but you slept nonetheless, soundly, the soft slosh of an almost empty three dollar bottle of wine titling upwards, down your throat, as you drank to the pillow, gnawing on the thought of food the nonstop reguritation of a birthday party celebration still ringing the balloon pops in your ears, remember when they were so young, and they shat themselves with a smile, the days were unbearably long but filled with the slight buzz of happiness, the neuroflood of scenes inside the screen when we held each other and slapped back the devil with another bow to the floor, splintered our heads and kept going because we were in love with the rhythmic motion of the prayer, the salutation you learn crossing the street, the monster you feed under the bed when the children go to sleep, to keep them disciplined, to force them to listen and to love you, the wildness of the thoughts as they grow in paranoia-rick soil, the mental ravine we all get caught in and eventually learn to orangutang our bodies through the vines, thorns, sleeping sloths, murder in the jungle, blood on the leaves, death hanging stealth deep in the bark of the trees, rings, again, rings again, faster than it can explode the thought is out of you, you called for me and i was awake waiting and nervous, but i'm here and none of what you said ever made sense to me, i was completely lost to begin with, stop.